I've come
to the realization lately that I haven't been very happy for much too
long. It's not that I'm miserable, but missing
a joie de vivre. So, I started
searching online, as people do and found all kinds of stuff to help me out but
I also started thinking of more happier times and what I was doing differently.
I came to a few conclusions. Some, I'm willing to share and others, not quite
yet.
One of the moments that sticks out most in my
mind was the time after watching "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. It was
a time of uncertainty and financial difficulty but instead of thinking how
difficult a time it was and all the negative thoughts that usually set in, I
started sending out my positive intentions to the Universe. All kinds of great
things started happening and we started on our new European Adventure. But,
then I stopped sending out those positive intentions and stuff got pretty bad.
It took me a while but I realized that I don't deal with stress very well and I
also realized that I have an incredible husband with whom I should have shared
this with but, instead, tried to shelter him from my feelings so as not to
distress him. I know, now, that I may
have recovered faster if I had shared and accepted support from friends and
family.
Next, I want to say that I wish marriage
and parenting came with one simple how-to book. There are so many things that I
wish I had done differently but I can't change the past and I'm trying to make
amends and am happier for it. In the meantime, I can pass on a little
advice. Communicate and make time for date night! It
doesn't have to be expensive but it should be, only, about the two of
you. NO KIDS! You'll thank me later. Remember to tell your family how much you
appreciate them, often and with meaning. I can't complain too much about
parenting but if I could tell my pre-mommy self something, I would tell her to
speak French (or whatever language you can speak) because English will happen,
no matter what.
I have made a few changes in my life
lately, so when I found this list for '12 Things Happy People Do Differently'(http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/08/30/12-things-happy-people-do-differently/),
I knew that I was on the right track.
I've made myself a little booklet where I write the things that I am
grateful for, I've started taking care of my body, and I've almost stopped
comparing myself to others. As for the rest of the list, some come easier than
others and there are one or two that I will have to purposefully try to do
until they become second nature. I've
also started giving myself some 30-Day Challenges, some physical, some
emotional and some intellectual. So far so good.
All in all,
I am feeling happier than I have in a long time. I decided that it was time to take matters
into my own hands instead of depending on others to make me happy (that's a
short term fix). I've been thinking
about the future and how scary it feels at the moment but I'm determined to
surround myself with positive energy and take it one day at a time. I guess it's a whole new adventure, being
really happy and one I look forward to.
Toodles,
Hi Julie,
ReplyDeleteWhat a brave post! I wish we were still able to sit and chat over coffee. I expect that sitting with a friend while going through some tough stuff might have been helpful. I know I have had similar issues recently and having face time with a friend would work wonders.
But you're bang on about sharing with our husbands- I did much the same, trying to insulate him from my worries, knowing he had enough of his own stresses to contend with. But when I did share, it was invaluable discussing it with him. They're our partners, afterall, and can be infinitely supportive... well, ours are, at least- we must know how to pick 'em ; )
I'm glad you've found some strategies to help you on your path. I can relate to the feelings you describe and am relieved that you're finding your way back to your happy self.
I'm sending some positive energy into the universe on your behalf.
warmly,
Cindy