Usually
when a person turns a milestone age, they often panic. Why? Well, we all have different
reasons; ‘I’m getting old’ and ‘What have I done with my life?’, seem to be
quite common questions. When I turned 25
years old, I went into panic mode. All I
could think was that I was really leaving my childhood and younger self for
adulthood and responsibility. Yikes!
I thought
for sure that 40 was going to be another one of those panic years but I was
wrong. I didn’t actually feel 40 and thought, who cares how many years I’ve
been on this earth, what matters is how old I feel on the inside. This year, at 43 years of age, I’m starting
to feel that little twinge again as I approach 45(It’s half way to the next
decade). 50 is a big number and we put
so much emphasis on this birthday and pressure on ourselves, it’s no wonder we
dread the BIG 5-0.
I
previously wrote about this self-help journey I’ve begun in my post “Being
Happy” and even though a lot of this might sound like fluff or new-age mumbo
jumbo to some of you, we all need to find our way in our own way. I’ve decided to approach the rest of my life,
head on and I’ll take whatever help I can get.
So along with Chakra Healing and daily affirmations, I came across this
post about setting goals. I’ve had more
than one person tell me how important it is to set goals, but it always felt superficial,
like I was setting goals that others expected of me instead of what was
important to me. But this video spoke to me (http://www.mindvalley.com/goal-setting-redefined?#sthash.78wPZjwS.dpbs)
and redefined my view of goals. I want to share some of the things I learned(or
you can watch the video, yourself).
According
to this video, there are two types of goals; End Goals – end results of
being human. They’re about experiencing love, travelling, being truly happy,
our contributions to the planet and learning new skills, while Means Goals –
are the things that we are told we need to have in place to get happiness, like
getting good grades, getting into post-secondary education, getting into a
particular firm, being with a particular someone, or getting good reviews at
work.
“THE PROBLEM IS THAT WE GET SO OBSESSED OVER THE MEANS
GOALS THAT WE LOSE SIGHT OF THE END GOALS”. –Vishen
Lakhiani, Mindvalley
There are three questions to ask yourself.
1.
What to I want to experience out of life?
2.
How do I want to grow?
3.
What to I want to contribute to
the planet?
I realized
that I was on the right track with my goals and I didn’t even know it. I did add a few new things like starting or
joining a supper club, learning to run a successful business, most likely a café/bookstore, learning tai chi, and volunteering
in my community. I feel like I’m one step closer to my happy place and getting
older isn’t such a big deal.
Bis Bald!
Love this! I am on a similar path- watching my children develop greater independence has led me to question what I'm to do next. It's a scary thought since my mean goals were short-sighted- I hadn't thought much about what would come after my kids had grown up.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing- it's nice to read someone else's perspective.
You've got me thinking...I like my life so it's not that I am dissatisfied but I feel like I should have goals but don't...Does that sound strange? Right now, I am thinking about my garden; there is no money around so I don't worry what I can't have and I like potatoes that flourish. Your writing is interesting because I know I am missing something, somewhere and it is interesting to read about someone else's journey.
ReplyDeleteThat was fun I did the 3 important questions and by doing them so quickly the response was what was currently on my mind and in my practice. Writing them down gives me some sense of time/history. Where am I going and where am I now. I like the 3 catagories of experiences, growth and contribution which focus the goals in a spiritual path rather than material. I often make a list of goals at Naw Ruz and then the list disappears and when I happen upon it again some time in the year or at the next Naw Ruz I find that somehow i did stick to the goals that were on my mind. The goal is a point somewhere in the future but i am already on the path towards the goal. Thanks Julie and enjoy your 40's
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